The Blair Witch Project Review

The Blair Witch Project

Rating: Meh

Themes/Genres: Horror, Found Footage, Local Legends, Descent into Madness

Main Characters: Heather, Joshua, Michael

Early fall, the time for every Horror movie to be announced and come out in time for Halloween.  On the one hand, that’s just one reason on a long list as to why Halloween is the best time of the year, but on the other hand… we horror fans are basically ignored the entire rest of the year.  It’s like Halloween is the only time Horror is properly appreciated… and minutely, at that.  But, that aside, there’s a whole heap of Horror movie sequels headed our way right now so it’s the perfect time to take a look at some of the originals they’re spawning from!  To start it off, let’s take a look at the original Blair Witch.

The story focuses around three film students, Heather, Josh, and Mike, heading to the town of Burkitzville, Maryland to do a documentary on a local legend the ‘Blair Witch’.  The movie switches back and forth between the black and white designated documentary camera and the color vlog-style camera that Heather carries.  The group gets a few interviews from the townsfolk, asking what they know about the legend, getting a sparse look at the history, before heading into the woods to get further evidence.

However, their quick hike through the forest quickly turns sour as navigational abilities come into question, cigarettes run out, and the very entity they’re out to research starts following them.  During the day they run around in lost circles, arguing amongst themselves, and rapidly losing morale then are tormented and taunted throughout the nights.  Eventually, all three of them meet an off-screen end, never returning home, with only the footage and sound equipment making it back out of the forest.

Originally released in 1999, the independent film took the world by storm, becoming an unexpected phenomenon, being nominated for 21 different awards, winning 17 of them, and is, to this day, one of the highest grossing independent films of all time.  While it wasn’t the first of the ‘found footage’ style movies, it was definitely a milestone of the genre and a major element in horror history.   Critically acclaimed in its time and still making it to the top of most horror-related ‘To Watch’ lists, Blair Witch is a horror movie giant.  Even despite its terrible sequel, Book of Shadows.

However.

While critics ate it up, general audiences were relatively divided about it.  Ever a source of unpopular opinions… I wasn’t overly fond of the movie.  I can certainly see how and why it took the world by such a storm, it’s not a bad movie by any degree... but it wasn’t great, either.  If anything, it was a bit boring.  In a very documentary sort of way.  Which, I suppose, is about what they were going for, but for a thrill-seeking supernatural horror fan the relatively realistic lack-of-actual-spooks ‘documentary’ was honestly boring.

The thing about supernatural horror is that things get… well, supernatural.  The reason legends and scary stories get told is because scary shit actually happens in them, there’s, even if by word only, evidence that there is, in fact, some sort of spooky-scary out there trying to kill you.  Imagine if they’d gone around the town, asking people about the Blair Witch, and someone just said “yeah, my tent got rattled and there were some rock piles!”  It wouldn’t really be that convincing, now would it?  No, they told stories of bodies being mutilated and spread in lines then just vanishing, they told stories of missing, murdered children who had to stand in corners, they told stories of half-human, half-beast ladies, they told stories of a lady who never touched the ground.  They had stories where something actually happened, where people would go ‘oh shit, I don’t want to face that’, stories that had some sort of action.

And thus my biggest problem with Blair Witch.  While yes, subtlety and the audience being able to use their imagination and not have everything thrown in their face is a wonderful tactic for horror, there is such a thing as having too little.  Blair Witch felt more like a study on normal people getting lost in the woods and slowly losing their minds over the thought of never returning home than a documentary on an actual haunting of an entire forest.

(On a long list of "things that had no explanation"...)

On top of endless, pointless arguing and the consistent question of ‘if this is found footage, who the fuck edited it together like this?’ a problem that plagues every found footage style movie, there are so many disconnected random tales with no real explanation behind the witch, herself, that nothing really makes sense.  Apparently, there was supposed to be a prequel doing just that after this movie came out, but Artisan rejected the idea and instead decided a shitty sequel was a better idea.  I would have preferred a literal sock-puppet explanation over Book of Shadows, guys.

There’s too much arguing, not enough witch, and way too much just straight black screen time.  I realize it’s supposed to be night and a camera doesn’t pick up a whole hell of a lot at night, but there are a lot of moments it just goes on too long.  It gives a few moments of tense ‘omg what’s gonna happen?’ but it lasts too long with no real pay-off.  I’m not asking for a jump scare, I just want anything to happen, even in the background.  There are plenty of moments where the characters are just sitting around yacking where some sort of subtle background movement or noise would have worked really well to keep viewers actually on edge.  Instead it’s just more arguing.

(This was one of my favorite parts of the movie)

I watched this movie at night by myself to get the full effect, which is something I almost never do.  Horror movies at night are just how they’re supposed to be watched, but I’ll never watch a horror movie if I know I’m going to be alone for over an hour afterwards especially since I live in a pretty creepy-at-night place.  But I was so unfazed by Blair Witch the first time that I decided to do just that to see if I could get at least a bit of unease after it.

The only thing that legitimately creeped me out at any point was the sticker on the DVD because it reminded me of The Ring.

Overall, The Blair Witch Project was incredibly underwhelming.  Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since it came out and I’ve seen some damn good horror movies nowadays, but Blair Witch isn’t something I would honestly go to for a real scare.  It’s an important part of horror history and should certainly be seen by anyone who somehow hasn’t yet, it’s also an important study piece, but it’s not the best for a scare.

Naturally, I’ll be seeing the new sequel as soon as I’ve got a chance, which means there’ll be a review and a comparison once that happens.  I will not, however, be reviewing Book of Shadows.  With all the sequels and remakes coming out right now I’d rather focus on the best pieces and Book of Shadows is definitely not on that list.  _{There wasn’t even a book.}  So look forward to that, as well as a review of The Ring and Ringu because they have not one, but two sequels coming out eventually between Rings and Sadako vs Kayako.  Which I cannot wait to get my teeth into.